Sunday, May 8, 2011

From my husband

The flowers that my amazingly spectacular-sweet husband got me for Mothers Day. Today has been a slightly emotional day. I cried a few times at church this morning and then when he gave me the flowers. I had a few sweet friends on facebook also tell me "happy mothers day" which warmed my heart that I was acknowledged as a mother even though both my children are in heaven. One day...

I wrote this poem a few weeks ago when I was at another really low point of just being tired and upset from the miscarriage and my dearest aunt Flo showing up again meaning that I was still having to be trying to conceive...again. Actually it was my first failed med cycle so it's not surprising that I was upset. But reading it now I find it more encouraging (for me) because it's true that one day I will reach my goal.

We'll get there one day...but not today.
We'll hold you in our arms one day...but not today.
Today, tomorrow, and the next day...we fight an seemingly never ending battle.
A battle against our own bodies, our own emotions, sometimes against the world.

We'll get there one day...but not today.

Today we cry tears over empty arms, and broken hearts.
Over seeing only one pink line staring back at us.
Tears of frustration, wanting to give up but wanting it so bad you just can't...because that would hurt even more.
Today we cry because another friend announced she is pregnant.
It's not that we are not happy for them, we are just sorry for ourselves.

We'll get there one day...but not today.

Today we head back to the doctors office to make more plans for yet another cycle.
Today we have more blood work done...more poking and prodding, and analysis's done.
Today we go back to the doctor and make plans for yet another cycle that we wish we were not having to make.

We'll get there one day...but not today.

We wont give up.
We wont give in.
Even though it's an uphill battle we'll fight till we win.
One day we'll finally reach our dream.
One day we'll hold you in our arms and cry sweet tears of victory.
...but not today.

-Elizabeth Lane


  1. Beautifully written from the heart. I hope we get "our one day" soon. Sending fertile thoughts your way. Happy belated Mother's Day!

  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm your newest follower ;) That poem was so sweet! I think it probably touches a lot more women than you can even imagine. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Great poetry- I love writing poems as well.

    Your day will come. I have had 2 miscarraiges myself.

    I now have 3 children! It will happen- just don't stress ;-) (easier said than done)

    Following you ;-)

  4. What a touching poem. Thank you. Even though I already have one child (via IFV) and another on the way (also IVF)it doesn't erase the bitterness, hurt, jealousy, and sense of failure. Best wishes. I won't tell you to relax, or try harder, or anything else that implies that you're doing something wrong. Life just sucks sometimes, but know that when it happens, however it happens, you will be a better parent because of the struggle. Doesn't make the suffering any easier though.