Saturday, October 8, 2011

Just feeling fat

That's how I feel right now, or well have for a past week or so.

I think that I've just come to that point where I'm hitting that "my body isn't what it used to look like and I'm scared that it wont ever be remotely the same again and that I'm going to gain too much weight" wall. I know that I'm not fat but man I feel it.

I know that I am supposed to gain weight while pregnant, that it's healthy but at almost 23 weeks now I've gained almost 20 pounds which is pretty much 1 pound a week. I'm scared that I'll keep that pattern up and gain 40 or more pounds by the time 40 weeks roles around. That seems like way too much to me.
I do need to get better at eating healthier again because I have just been giving into whatever craving I've had and working out since I gave up what I had been doing when I found out I was pregnant and on pelvic rest.

Daniel keeps telling me that I don't look fat I just look pregnant that other than the belly (and well increased breast size) pretty much nothing has changed. Mostly true, but I have seen some weight gain in my face. I think that I just feel so bad because my belly to me just looks bigger than what it should for this point in the pregnancy and for being a first time mom.
For some reason I have this image in my mind that the way I look right now is how I should look at 7 months pregnant. The other women that I have seen who are the same belly size as me are on their second child (or more). It just makes me feel huge.

I'm annoyed with myself about this feeling though, I don't doubt that it's normal and that many others feel or have felt this way but I just feel like I should be like "oh it's just baby no big deal, I look cute anyways." Hopefully I'll get over this feeling and be at that one soon. Actually now that I am sitting here alone thinking about it I realize that there are further reasons for my feeling well basically insecure about my current body image but I'm not going to get into those publicly.

-So long as D keep growing healthy and strong I will be happy, it's all worth it for him-


  1. I hope I'm one of those people like you that looks bigger. I really want to have the preggo belly as long as possible and get out of the "is she just gaining weight" category as fast as possible. You might look bigger because you're naturally thin though too. I've seen lots of preggo size 1-5ish people and they get bellies faster and bigger than us larger ladies.

    I'm sorry you feel fat. I know you've been through the alternative of sitting here like me, thinking how big I SHOULD be since I SHOULD be having a baby in December (or whenever Poppy and Aiden were due).

    It seems like time is just flying by!

  2. You really look great honey! I love feeling our little boy kick, and I think you look healthy and gorgeous. I'm sorry you don't feel good about how you look though. I think you're a really sexy lady. ;)