Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother Heart

I've been working on and off on today's entry and I have deleted said entry at least 5 times not liking what was said because it didn't capture what I was really wanting to say. As it turns out a photo I was posting to Instagram and the first sentence of the caption for that photo there ended up being the jumping point I needed and what I was trying to say all morning just seemed to pour out. It's still not as eloquently worded as I would like but none of my writing ever is and that's ok, words don't have to be Shakespearian poetry to be powerful and reach somebody.  

Today I am blessed to spend the day full of smiles and laughter with this amazing little human! Getting to marvel at just how fantastic he is and the fact that I'm so, so lucky to be his mommy + the anticipation of his new little sister due very soon!  

But I am reminded that just 3 & 4 short years ago this day held a different feeling for me. 
Feelings not of joy and pride but of pain and failure. 
For nearly two years I struggled through loss and infertility, feeling an empty hole in my heart where my mothers love longed to be poured out onto my own child. 
Just as with my past experience today is described as a painful lonely day for many women around the world. For those who struggle to get and stay pregnant. Those who have lost a child during pregnancy, childbirth, or as an infant. Those who had a child stolen from them due to tragic accident. Those who have poured blood sweat and tears (and money) into paperwork only to have an adoption fall apart. Those who's arms and hearts ache to hold their child but are not able to. And those children young or grown who's own mothers are no longer around and feel the pain of wanting to wrap their arms around them and say "happy mothers day, I love you!" just one more time. 

Today is a day of joy but also a day of somber where we can be truly thankful for the love and family we have, and remember to pray for comfort of those who have that person missing from their lives. 
I truly believe that motherhood starts in the heart and because of that I know many amazing mothers who deserve proper recognition today. 
Happy mothers day to all!

As far as my Mothers Day is concerned it has been a truly lovely day. 
I was brought breakfast in bed which included fresh coffee, fresh made blueberry muffins with cinnamon-sugar curb topping, and fresh fruit! There was also some leftover maple-bacon bar doughnuts left from our trip to Voodoo Doughnuts yesterday (post about that later) that I enjoyed but the homemade muffin was definitely better.

My sweet guys surprised me with living tulips, a small balloon, and a handmade card that dada wrote on and the Little Jedi colored beautifully for me! We spent the morning cuddling and watching some Star Wars (very typical) then got ourselves dressed and dada took me out to lunch.

It's been a beautiful low key Mothers Day and I have enjoyed each moment of it! 

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